If It Meant Living-65: Heroes and Villains

If It Meant Living - Chapter 65
"Heroes and Villains"

Title: If It Meant Living – Chapter 65:  "Heroes and Villains"
Author: Graceyn
Game: Mass Effect/Mass Effect 2/Mass Effect 3
Characters/pairing: femShep/Kaidan
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all rights to Mass Effect and its characters
Content Warning: Language, Violence, Nudity, Sexual Themes

---

The Illusive Man stared out at the pulsing star dominating his view – this one whiter, brighter, larger than the last.  So powerful, the creations of the universe were.  The stars, the planets…the Reapers.  Powerful, inevitable, immortal…or so they appeared.  Yet he had seen stars supernova, seen planets explode into dust.  Many things were powerful…but nothing was inevitable; nothing was immortal.  At least not yet.

He turned as the beep signaled a successful connection link, an expression of calm assurance already gracing his features…for he was.  "My Council source has informed me that there is a Prothean artifact of great value on Thessia, in the Temple of Athame.  Shepard is aware of its existence, but she has not yet departed the Citadel.  I need you to get to Thessia ahead of her and retrieve it for me."  

Kai Leng's head dipped in acknowledgement.  "Yes, sir; adjusting my course now.  I'll head directly there."

The Illusive Man's electric eyes gazed out at him from the miniature projection above the ship's dash.  "I cannot overstate the importance of this artifact; it is vital that we obtain it – and keep it out of Alliance hands.  I have every reason to believe it may hold the answers we, and they, seek."

Leng settled back in the seat.  "The Catalyst."

The Illusive Man nodded.  "Exactly.  The missing piece we need in order to win this war."

Leng frowned slightly.  "But sir, without the Crucible, the Catalyst is useless.  So long as it remains hidden, our hands are tied, are they not?"

The Illusive Man's lips pulled up just slightly in the hint of a smile.  "Oh, I know where the Crucible is.  But the Crucible is also useless without the Catalyst; it would be foolhardy to show our hand too early and move before it is complete – and before we are ready to use it.  Regardless, the Crucible is nearly finished; retrieve this artifact for me, and we will determine the nature of the Catalyst then begin final preparations."

"Consider it done."

***

Plates piled high with assorted breakfast foods lay scattered around the conference room table next to half-empty glasses of juice, cups of coffee, and other beverages consumed in an effort to turn bleary eyes into sharp ones.  

Shepard jogged into the conference room, grabbing a bagel from a tray then dropping casually into her chair.  Her body language portrayed energy and determination, but the expression gracing her features was one of somberness and weight.   "Bad news guys; the Reapers are already here.  They began attacking the capital in force last night."

Liara didn't look up from her plate; she already knew, and Shepard knew that she already knew.

"The Temple we're headed for is on the outskirts of the city center, where the fighting is heaviest.  Steve, you may have to do some fancy flying today.  We're going to touch down at the FOB closest to the Temple, and hopefully pick up some help getting in."

She paused long enough to inhale a bite of her bagel.  "Now there's no reason for the Reapers to be targeting this Temple in particular – but there is every reason for Cerberus to be targeting it.  It has received heavy government funding for hundreds of years, most of it classified; that means the artifact it holds is valuable, and dangerous – and that means that Cerberus wants it badly.  Hopefully, we're in front of them and can be in and out before they get there.  We find this artifact and bring it back post-haste."

She smiled sadly.  "Several months ago I said what I'm about to say to many of you when we were on our way to Palaven, and…it breaks my heart to have to say it again today.  But here it is.  We're going to see some gut-wrenching scenes down there today; tragic, inexcusable loss of life.  But we're not here to save Thessia.  Not today.  We're here so one day soon – one day very, very soon – we can save everyone, on every world."

She watched as they nodded in reluctant, painful understanding.  "Okay, the fighting will be heavy, so you're all going save EDI – I need you here in case things get dicey and to monitor Cerberus.  Kaidan, Steve will get you to your destination as soon as he drops us off."  

He nodded tightly, sparing her the slightest smile.

She exhaled slowly.  "Traynor, you and EDI keep a close eye out for Cerberus, incoming and outgoing.  If they show up, track their movements."  She gulped down the glass of juice sitting in front of her as she stood.  "Everyone finish eating then get suited up; we leave in forty."

***

"There it is, off to the righ– goddammit, watch out for the Reaper!"  Kai Leng grabbed ahold of the dash as the gunship swung wildly and narrowly avoided the Reaper's beam.

"Sorry, sir.  Where do you want me to land?"

Leng unbuckled his seatbelt and stood.  "Just drop down low out front.  Once I'm groundside, get the hell out of the way of the Reapers – but stay close in case I need you."  He climbed into the back, popped open the side door, activated his cloaking, and leapt ten meters to the ground below, nimbly rolling once then to his feet.

The Temple had a force-field barrier blocking the entrance.  He studied the control panel built into the entrance wall for a moment…Asari military-grade encryption.  He huffed a laugh; child's play for the Illusive Man's state-of-the-art hacking algorithm.  He linked his Omni-tool to it; ten seconds later the field shimmered then collapsed.

Still cloaked, he watched three Asari at the front of the Temple making notes as they studied several artifacts.  Lambs for the slaughter.  He quietly edged around the outside of the pews towards the closest Asari.

The first one never saw him; she felt the cold metal of the blade, and was dead.  She didn't have the chance to scream or even make a noise, which meant he was grabbing the second one by the throat before she knew he was there.  The third one did see him, and screamed as she tried to run; as he slit the throat of the woman in his arms, he raised his palm and shot her with a biotic blast.  Dropping the body, he was on her an instant later, yanking her disgusting tentacles up and finishing the job with his sword.

He quickly scanned the area for other inhabitants; satisfied it was deserted, he leaned down and wiped the sword clean on the dress of one of the dead Asari, then began his search.

***

Shining silver skyscrapers with elegant curved lines arced upwards into a pale pink sky.  Glistening pools lined with trees decorated the open spaces.  The exemplar of civilization at its peak, its most refined.

It was on fire.

"Liara, it's beautiful."

She nodded tightly.  "It is.  But it won't be for long.  This destruction…Shepard, I don't understand.  What possible reasoning could exist in even the most warped mind to justify the annihilation of such beauty, such achievement?"

Shepard stared out the open shuttle door.  "There isn't one; there can't be."  She gave Liara a brave smile.  "Just hold on; we'll bring an end to it soon.  I promise."

Liara returned the smile, though it was tinged with sadness.  "I know we will."

The shuttle settled down just back from a contingent of Asari soldiers; she motioned everyone out in front of her, then turned quickly to Kaidan, grasping his gloved hand briefly.  "Good luck, okay?"

He huffed a breath.  "You too.  Let's get what we came for and get out of here."

"Yep."  She turned and leapt the meter to the ground, not looking back to watch the door close as the shuttle lifted away.

The sounds of the battle were deafening – soldiers shouting orders over the screams of Reapers, Harvesters wailing as they dive-bombed encampments, glass shattering and buildings exploding.

"It's like Vancouver all over again."

She looked over at James, her mouth set in a grim line.  "It is."  Then she shook her head roughly.  "Come on, let's focus and get this done."

Liara motioned her over.  "Shepard, this is Lieutenant Kurin, she's in charge here."

The Asari gave a weary, desperate laugh.  "I am now, anyway."  She looked over her shoulder and pointed.  "Look, the Temple's over there, past what's left of those two buildings and around the corner.  There's supposed to be a team of scientists there to meet you…but we lost contact with them twenty minutes ago."

Shepard gazed out at the battle scarring the path to their goal.  Fireballs carrying Husks rained down as Harvesters patrolled the skies.

"Okay.  Lieutenant, I know too much has surely already been asked of you.  I don't have to tell you that all you're doing here is buying people time to escape; you know you won't win here today.  But if we can get to that Temple, then we stand a chance of winning the whole goddamn war.  So I need you to give us everything you can – whatever cover, whatever air support you have left.  Can you do that?"

She nodded, eyes wide.  "Yes, ma'am.  We have snipers stationed about every hundred meters; we have three gunships left operating.  There's one military station between here and the Temple, Outpost Tykis.  We'll do what we can to get you there."

She squeezed Kurin's shoulder.  "Thank you; I promise you, it won't be in vain."

She motioned the team over to her.  "Our objective is down this bridge and through those ruins.  Unless it's directly in our way, we don't stop.  Understood?  Okay, let's move."

***

Kai Leng frowned as he realized he had missed a drop of blood.  He crouched down and wiped the sword clean again on another set of robes, then stood and scanned the Temple, looking for anything he may have missed.  Finally he hit his comm.  "Sir, I've searched every inch of this Temple.  There are plenty of artifacts here, but they're just relics.  There's nothing that could contain information on the Catalyst."

"Are they Prothean artifacts?"

Leng stared at the bust of 'Athame.'  "Yes."

He could hear the Illusive Man sigh.  "The Protheans do love to bury their secrets, make us solve their puzzles like rats in a maze."  He was silent for a moment.  "Wait for Shepard.  She'll be able to find it, and unlock it.  After she does, then you'll move in and relieve her of it."

Leng bristled at the implied insult.  "How is she going to find what I can't?"

The Illusive Man smiled patiently, though Leng couldn't see it.  The assassin could be so…sensitive.  "Not because she's better than you, Leng.  You are her superior in every way.  However, Shepard has one thing you do not – the Protheans in her brain.  Absorption of the beacon, coupled with the Cipher, enables her to understand the Prothean language, comprehend their messages, decipher their technology.  It likely gave her additional connections with them as well.  If the artifact is there, she'll find it."

Leng nodded grudgingly.  "Fine.  After she finds it, what should I do with her?"

"If the opportunity presents itself, I would like to speak with her."

Leng rolled his eyes.  "All the two of you do is chat – "  He caught himself.  "Sorry, sir.  No disrespect intended."

The Illusive Man's eyes hardened slightly as he took a sip of scotch.  "None taken.  I simply would like to try a last time to make her understand that my plan is the only way we can achieve victory."

Leng leaned against a pillar casually.  "She hasn't shown any willingness to listen before – what makes you think this time will be different?"

"Despite our considerable differences, I have to believe that the Commander is at least a marginally intelligent woman; she would not have been as successful as she has otherwise.  Intelligent people can be made to see reason.  Misguided though her efforts are, I don't think she wants humanity to suffer.  If I can convince her that her path will only lead to greater suffering, while mine will result not only in victory, but in the ascendance of humanity to new heights never before thought possible…perhaps she will join us."

Leng scoffed.  "We don't need her."

The Illusive Man stood and gazed out the floor-to-ceiling windows.  "Of course not.  But we can use her.  She's an important symbol, and can be quite persuasive to the weak-minded.  She would be a valuable tool in smoothing over certain…speedbumps…we may encounter."

"If you say so.  And if she doesn't listen to reason, if she won't come over to our side?"

His mouth twitched slightly.  It would be regrettable to lose such a significant investment.  On the other hand, she had already cost him considerably more in credits and resources than the initial outlay.  And so long as she wasn't on his side, she was a threat to everything he had worked so long and so hard to achieve.

Nearly thirty years ago he had been given a vision of the past – and of the future.  Of the Reapers – what they were, and what they would do.  In the process, he had lost his best friend and the woman he secretly loved.  

It had been a heavy, but ultimately acceptable, price to pay for the opportunity to change – no, to save – the world.  He had spent every waking hour since that day preparing for this moment; working to strengthen and embolden humanity, to gather resources and power so as to be in a position to shape events when the time came.  Now the time had nearly come – the time when, under his tutelage, humanity would conquer and rise above the greatest threat it had ever known.

He had had high hopes for Shepard; the highest.  But in the end she had turned out to be a foolish idealist, short-sighted and reactionary…and he couldn't let her ruin the only chance humanity had for a future.

"Sir…?"

"Kill her."

***

"Shepard, get down!"

She instinctively ducked and rolled as the Harvester swooped in low.  James tossed frag grenades onto its back as Kal sprayed it with his assault rifle.  The grenades exploded and it spun out of control, crashing to the ground below.  As she stood, Javik flung a lift grenade over her head and into the Ravagers in front of them, buying time for Liara to run ahead and open a singularity around the already-floating creatures.

"Damn…"

Shepard sprinted under the singularity into the tiny fortified area, and found a lone Asari commando pressed against a barricade.  "Soldier, we're looking for Outpost Tykis, can you – "

"You found it, ma'am.  I'm all there is…and I figure I got about five minutes left if I'm lucky."

She exhaled.  "How far to the Temple?"

The Asari gestured over her shoulder.  "You're almost there – just up this embankment and across the pools."

Shepard stared at the embankment ahead of her.  It was crawling with Husks, including several of those terrifying Banshees with their shrieks and their strangely distended bellies.  Monstrosities that had once been living, thinking beings, culled from all the worlds the Reapers were destroying.  She shuddered, finding a renewed outrage and with it a renewed motivation to kick their motherfucking asses.  

She nodded sharply and hit her comm.  "Kurin, it's Shepard.  We need every gunship you have to carpet-bomb just north of Outpost Tykis…I know…thank you."

She motioned for the team to move up against the meager fortifications.  "Alright guys, we move before the smoke clears.  When we get up top, James and Kal stay and hold this embankment; I don't want Husks coming in the Temple behind us."  The high-pitched whine of gunships grew louder, and she looked up.

"Get ready."

***

Kai Leng looked up at the sound of successive explosions just down the hill from the Temple.  That would undoubtedly be Shepard…though if forced to do so he would admit she had some talents, subtlety was not one of them.  Time to head for the shadows.  

He stepped outside the entryway, reactivated the force field, and slipped into a small alcove around the corner.  Through a gap in the columns he could see the front area of the Temple interior.  He forced himself to settle back against the wall and wait for events to play out.  He hated waiting; he preferred moving, stalking, attacking…and most of all, the adrenaline rush of holding a life in his hands then snuffing it out.

But the mission required waiting, and so he would wait.

Thankfully, the wait wasn't a long one.  He heard footsteps approach the Temple; a moment later Shepard and her team came into view through the gap…a Turian, an Asari, and a…so that was the Prothean she stole from Cerberus.  He shook his head in disgust; her love of aliens was going to be her downfall before the end…which, if he had his preference, would be in about ten minutes.

***

The Temple was eerily quiet.  It was as if they had passed through a dampening field when they stepped into the hall; the deafening sounds of Thessia falling faded to a muffled whisper.

Dramatic stone arches swept up to frame a towering statue of a vaguely Asari figure.  Slightly smaller statues gazed reverently up at the Goddess Athame from each side.  Pews populated the center of the Temple, oddly resembling old Christian churches on Earth.  Encircling the pews along the walls were numerous relics associated with Athame, carefully preserved and protected.

Solemn and awe-inspiring as it was, Shepard's immediate concern was the bodies of the scientists lying at the feet of Athame.  She hurried to them, kneeling down and checking for vitals – though with the amount of blood slicking the floor, it was a pointless act.  The bodies were still warm; they were all dead, but had not been that way for long.  She rolled one over…and frowned deeply.  The scientist's throat had been slit ear-to-ear.  She checked another body – same thing.  She stood up, finding Garrus behind her watching the perimeter.  

She shook her head quickly.  "This is not good."  She jogged back towards Liara and Javik as the sounds of their argument grew louder.

"Are you telling me the Protheans intervened to protect the Asari from alien attacks?"

"And when you weren't being attacked we intervened to teach you how to count.  I read your research papers on us, Dr. T'Soni.  You believe, with some evidence, that the Protheans studied and in several instances intervened to nurture primitive species in their development.  Are you truly so arrogant as to believe the Asari were exempt from this?"

"EDI, scan the area around the Temple for any Cerberus traffic."

"No…but our entire mythology is based on the Goddess and her servants – "

"Look at that sculpture, Dr. T'Soni.  Now look at me.  That is a Prothean.  Your eyes cannot lie to you."

"Understood…guys – "

"But we – "

"GUYS!  Settle the galactic history argument later.  We have to move fast – Kai Leng is already here, and EDI is tracking Cerberus gunships on the way.  Now help me find this artifact."

Liara nodded quickly.  "Of course, Shepard, I'm sorry.  The relics on display aren't obviously a source, but I will check them for hidden mechanisms."

Javik looked over at Liara.  "You check the left side; I will check the right."

Liara gave him a terse smile and nod.  "Good thinking."

Shepard turned and walked deliberately back to the statues towering over the room.  Athame's face tilted upwards towards the sky, eyes closed in contemplation.  Waiting.  As she approached the wide pedestal below the statue, the thick veil of silence seemed to contract in around her.  She closed her eyes, and listened to the silence…

…and heard a low hum.  Not so much heard it as felt it dance across her skin, thrum against her bones.  Her biotics hummed back in return…for she already knew the melody, held it within her.

"There's a Prothean beacon here.  In the statue."

Javik's head jerked up and he hurried over to her.  He stood still for several seconds.  "You are correct.  I will discover how to activate it."

She nodded softly, and waited.  Over the last three years (minus two for being more or less dead), she had directly interfaced with beacons twice; had vividly experienced the visions they gave at least five additional times; had dreamt them innumerable nights.  She was not afraid of what the beacon held; she was not afraid to touch it and see.

Pale green light began to pour through seams in the statue.  One by one, streams of light connected with the statue…and Athame began to crack.  Pieces fell away as if they had been built to do so, dropping all around Shepard but not touching her, until at last the beacon was revealed fully, sparkling green light dancing along three Prothean obelisks.

She reached out to touch it…but instead, it came to her.  A pulsing ball of green light flew out of the beacon, stopped centimeters in front of her face, then whizzed around behind her, expanding, writhing, and taking form.

The holographic image of a Prothean stood before them.  "I am the virtual embodiment of the scientist Pashek Vran, overseer of the project you call the 'Crucible'; I am known as Vendetta."  It paused.  "Reaper presence detected; this cycle has reached its extinction precipice; diseng– "

"Wait!"

It paused, turned to face Shepard, and waited.

"You're wrong; we have almost completed construction of the Crucible.  We do stand on the precipice, but it is the precipice of winning, of defeating the Reapers once and for all.  Please, will you come with us?  We need the information you can provide."

It swung around to Javik.  "This entity recognizes you as Prothean."

Javik's head dipped slightly.  "The last Prothean."

"Does this organic speak the truth?"

"They have achieved more, and gotten further, than us or those who came before.  They stand a chance."

It turned back to Shepard, transforming back into a pulsing disc.  "Very well.  We will integrate with your Crucible; the Catalyst – "

"Shepard, Cerberus forces are closing in on your locati– "

"Indoctrinated presence detected; activating security protocols."  The VI shrunk to a pinpoint of light and flew into the beacon.

She spun around in time to watch the assassin swagger through the Temple.  "You."

Kai Leng sneered.  "Me."

"I've been wanting to kill you for a while now.  Thanks for finally showing up so I can."

He…smiled.  "All in due time.  First, someone would like to speak with you."  He opened his palm and a small orb floated towards her.  He settled back, crossing his arms over his chest.

The orb flickered as it projected the moving image of the Illusive Man.

Shepard rolled her eyes dramatically.  "Congratulations, your tech has improved – now your errand-boy can carry you around to all the places you can't go because you're too scared to step a foot outside your lair.  What do you want?"

He gazed at her unblinking.  "You have made quite a nuisance of yourself these last weeks, Shepard.  I am not amused."

"Awwww, did I blow up some of your toys?  So sorry.  Wait…no, I'm really not."  She surreptitiously motioned Garrus over towards the beacon, signaling for him to grab the artifact holding the VI while everyone else was focused on her tête-à-tête with the Illusive Man.

"Ahh, Shepard, so misguided, yet so confident she is right…a failing of many would-be leaders."

"Also a failing of many psychopaths.  We are going to win this war, and you are not going to stop us."

"You are beginning to make me regret bringing you back to life, Shepard."

"Seriously?  That hurts my feelings."  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Garrus quietly moving ever closer to the pedestal.  "And I thought we had such a good relationship after I ran off with your ship and your AI and your best operative…"

"The past is the past.  What matters is the future.  If you try to defeat the Reapers you will fail, and you will be destroying the greatest gift humanity has ever been given!  I can control them, turn them to our own advantage, and usher in a golden age such as humanity has never before seen.  Surely even you can see this is the only way to win.  Don't fight me, Shepard; help me."

She stared at his shimming hologram, shaking her head ruefully, a grim smile pulling at her lips as her voice lost the mocking tone.  "If you try to control the Reapers, at best you will die a broken failure of a man; at worst you will condemn humanity to a slow, horrific genocide.  I'd like to think that once upon a time you truly wanted to uplift humanity…but you lost your way long ago.  There's nothing I can do to help you.  The answer is no."

Kai Leng suddenly spun around and behind her, flinging a biotic attack at Garrus just as he reached the pedestal, sending him flying through the air and into the shadows.  She whirled on him, hand raised with a faint blue glow…but he had vanished.

The Illusive Man smiled.  "Very well.  I will have the identity of the Catalyst, Shepard, and I will prevent your Crucible from being completed.  I will use it to my own ends, control the Reapers, and oversee a new world for us all.  Leng, the Commander is protecting something I need.  Please remove it and bring it to me."

"With pleasure."  The hologram vanished, and several things happened at once.  Leng materialized as he seemed to fly towards the pedestal.  Liara pulled her arm back to unleash a biotic attack, and he reached over and physically threw her into Javik, sending them both tumbling head over heel into the pews.  Shepard sprinted towards the pedestal, but for as fast as she was, she didn't have Reaper tech flowing through her veins…and she wasn't fast enough.

Leng reached out and grabbed the artifact as his other hand reached back and put up a barrier around himself at the precise second her on-the-run throw hurtled towards him.  The biotics clashed in an explosion of blue sparks.  He whispered into his comm then turned to her, safely behind his shimmering barrier even as she fired shot after shot at it.  

"Goodbye, Shepard.  Give my regards to Thane when you see him."  He jogged down the center of the room towards the gunship hovering at the entrance as the pillars of the Temple began crumbling under the force of gunfire.

She ran.  There was no time to look for the others; she could only pray that the ceiling wasn't falling down upon her team, her dearest friends.  She wanted to help them more than anything – but this was about the fate of every life, on every world.  So she ran.

It wasn't enough.

A beam crashed down in front of her.

The floor split apart underneath her.

She fell.

She clawed at stone as it crumbled in her fingers.

She didn't look down into the abyss below her, lest it look back into her.

She kicked and grasped as she tumbled, searching for even the tiniest foothold to save her –

– then she found it.

Her foot skidded against stone as her hand slid along an exposed rebar jutting out of the collapsed wall.  Blood flowed out of the rips in her glove and down her hand as the metal cut into her palm.

She gritted her teeth and held on.  I will not die again.  Not this day.

Her foot found a solid notch, and she reached up with her unbloodied hand.  She didn't look down, but she couldn't ignore the yawning blackness surrounding her.  What the hell was under the Temple?  Alas, no time.

Centimeter by centimeter, she climbed.  Trickles of blood ran down her armor and became streams.  She ignored it as it began to cake in her hair, and climbed.  She saw pale pink light tinged with the red of fire above her.  Just a few more pulls.  She reached up and grasped the edge of the broken horizontal floor –

– and it crumbled in her fingers.

She slid downward towards the blackness.

A hand pulled her back from the abyss.

She looked up, eyes wide, to find Garrus looking down at her, blood dripping from the corner of his eye as he firmly grasped her arm.  She grinned wildly, laughing in relief, as he pulled her up and over to solid ground.

Garrus collapsed beside her.  "Dammit, Shepard, don't scare me like that."

She lay on the floor for one…two…glorious seconds, gasping in air.  But events moved quickly in her world, and so must she.  She pushed herself up, quickly checked to see Liara and Javik standing on their own two feet, if shakily, then hit her comm as she began jogging towards the entrance, the slightest limp slowing her down for only the first few steps.  "Steve, we need a pickup immediately.  James, Kal, get your asses up here.  Kaidan, I hope you're done, because we are leaving now.  EDI, tell me you tracked that gunship."

"Tracking it towards the Mass Relay, Shepard.  Specialist Traynor is employing several interesting new algorithms to – "

"Terrific; you can tell me about it later."  She looked around again.  "Let Chakwas know she's going to have a number of minor-ish injuries to patch up…"  She saw James and Kal crawl over the lip of the highest pool towards them.  "Maybe a few major ones too."

With nothing left to do but wait for pickup, she stopped at the edge of the pool and stared out at the scene of beautiful destruction…

…and for just a moment, in the deep recesses of her mind and of her soul, she was afraid that it was all going to come apart around her.  She was afraid that she was going to lose.  

For just a moment, she was afraid.

You must find a way, siha.  For yourself, for your love, for all who yet live and breathe.  She spun around in surprise…but there was only the wind.

***

Kai Leng smiled to himself as the gunship accelerated away, dancing nimbly between the Reapers making a mess of Thessia.  He activated his comm.  "I've got the artifact.  You were right; it sounded like it has knowledge of the Catalyst."

"Excellent.  And Shepard?"

He glanced out the window at the dust cloud surrounding the crumbling ruin of the Temple.  "Disposed of."

The Illusive Man sighed.  "A shame, really.  She could have been useful in bringing others over to our side.  Nevertheless…not a tremendous loss.  What matters is that we have the artifact, and with it the  key to winning this war and saving our people."

"I'll have it to you in a few short hours."

"First I need you to stop by Sanctuary.  Henry Lawson has sufficiently completed his research – it's the last piece of our puzzle.  Pick up his files and anything else he has that we need, then bring all of it and the artifact to me."

"Understood, sir.  Should I expect any trouble?"

"No; Henry's one of us."

***

Kaidan came over to her as soon as he hit the shuttle interior.  "Shepard, you're bleeding.  A lot.  What happened?"  His hand reached up to her hair, eyes filled with concern.

She shook her head roughly.  "I'm fine.  Did you get what we needed?"  

He nodded slightly, still focused on her injuries.  "I did…"

"Good; at least that's something."  She met his eyes, and he was disconcerted by what he saw in hers.  "The artifact was a Prothean VI, and Kai Leng has it.  Steve, get us back to the Normandy NOW."

Yes, ma'am."  He wrenched the gear down, and they all grabbed ahold of something as the shuttle lurched forward, leaving behind the fire and the screams of a planet falling.

***

She stormed through the cargo bay, flinging blood off her brow haphazardly on the way to the elevator.  "EDI, where did that ship go?"

"It is still traversing the Mass Relay system, but based on its current course, it is headed to the Iera System."

She stopped cold in front of the elevator doors.  "Sanctuary.  I knew something was fucked up about that place."

"I'm sorry?"

"It doesn't matter for now.  Follow it.  Don't lose it, EDI."  

She slung her armor off in the direction of the armory repository and started to enter the elevator…but first she turned around, only to see Garrus, Liara, Javik, Kal and James limping forward in various states of mobility.  She exhaled slowly, pushing the rage down deeper, willing herself to some state of minimal control, then looked over at Kaidan, jerking her head towards them.  He nodded, and together they helped them each into the elevator and to the Med Lab and Dr. Chakwas' ministrations.

***

The medical tech sighed in frustration as he futily tried to tend to Shepard's hand as she paced quickly around the Med Lab.  "Ma'am, please, if you could just hold still for a moment."

She looked over at him in surprise, as if she had completely forgotten he was there, then stuck her hand out in his direction for all of five seconds before resuming pacing.  "Dr. Chakwas, what's the report?"

Chakwas didn't look up from Liara's leg.  "Nothing too severe, thankfully.  Kal'Reegar's suit held, he'll be fine; James took a blast to the shoulder, but he doesn't seem to care.  Garrus has a bump on the head and a cut to his face; Liara here has a twisted knee and a bruised up face; Javik…well, he seems okay.  I'm afraid there are no books on Prothean physiology."

Liara smiled at Chakwas in thanks as she moved away, then looked over at Shepard in concern.  "Shepard, are we tracking him?  Do we have a way to catch him?"

She nodded, pulling her hand back covered in Medi-gel.  "We are.  Traynor's got an adaptive algorithm running that should allow us to follow him to his destination.  Which – "  she winced as the tech reached up and dabbed Medi-gel on her forehead " – appears to be Horizon."

Liara frowned.  "Sanctuary?"

"So it would seem."  At last freed from the tech's clutches, she faced the team, scattered throughout the Med Lab being tended to.  "If that's the case, we'll be there in about five hours.  Everyone get healed up as best you can and try to get some rest until then."  She turned and calmly walked out the door.

***

Shepard ran a hand raggedly through her hair, not bothering to smooth it back down as Hackett's hologram materialized.

"Commander, what's the report?"

Her jaw was clenched.  "Is the Crucible ready, sir?"

His head tilted slightly.  "Almost. The last pieces of the propulsion system are being installed now.  Another two days, maybe three – though I would prefer a little more time."

Her eyes closed.  "Too long," she whispered.

"Commander, what happened with the artifact?"

She swallowed hard and looked back at him.  "Cerberus was already there.  Specifically, Kai Leng.  He…"  She gritted her teeth…then accidentally bit the inside of her cheek, wincing at the sudden pain and metallic taste flooding her mouth.  "He escaped with the artifact, sir."

Hackett turned away so she couldn't see the panicked expression momentarily crossing his face.  He composed himself and turned back to her.  "Did it contain information on the Catalyst?"

She nodded tightly.  "It's a reasonable assumption.  It was a VI created by the head of the Crucible project, and it definitely knew of the Catalyst.  We were cut off before I could determine anything further."

He exhaled, nodding slowly.  "Okay.  What's your plan?"  He didn't ask if she had a plan; of course she had a plan.

"We were anticipating the presence of Cerberus and were able to track Leng's departure; we are currently in pursuit.  He appears to be headed for the Iera system."

Hackett looked up in surprise.  "Sanctuary?"

"We don't know for certain, but it seems the most likely destination.  It would be just like Cerberus to advertise a safe haven, lure innocent people there, then do…I don't want to imagine what they may be doing to them."

"Neither do I.  But unfortunately, that's a solid analysis."

"Sir, if he – "

"I know, Commander.  Just get it back before it gets into the Illusive Man's hands."

"I'll try.  I…I'm sorry.  I was ready for Cerberus to show up, expecting them to show up, and still…"  She flinched, still not believing it.  "…he beat me.  He had a gunship and…it doesn't matter, I won't make excuses.  He beat me."

"Commander, Kai Leng was a singularly formidable opponent even before he got pumped full of the finest in Reaper upgrades.  At this point I'm not sure anything less than an orbital strike can take him out.  So don't be too hard on yourself – just focus on the mission.  It's not too late."

The muscles in her jaw twitched reflexively.  "Of course.  Let me know as soon as the Crucible's ready – and I'll let you know as soon as I have that artifact back."

He nodded sharply.  "Hackett out."

The link went dead; she started to walk out of the Comm Room, then suddenly turned, picked a datapad up off the ledge, and threw it against the wall.

***

Kaidan knocked on Liara's door.  There was no response; he knocked a second time.  "Liara, it's Kaidan.  Can I come in?"

There was a pause for several seconds before the door opened.  Liara stood in the center of the room staring at the wall of monitors, though he wasn't sure if she was actually seeing them.  She didn't look over at him.

"Liara, what happened down there?"

"My homeworld fell to the Reapers, what do you think happened down there?"  She exhaled heavily, shoulders sagging.  "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that."  She motioned to the chair.  "Please, sit."  

She began pacing slowly.  "I called myself understanding what you, Shepard, Vega, went through; what Garrus went through.  I felt sadness and empathy for you having to watch Earth fall.  But it turns out I didn't understand at all."

She leaned heavily against the wall opposite him, crossing her arms over her chest.  "I haven't even been back to Thessia in over a decade.  I have fond memories of growing up there, but I never thought I loved it…before today."  She stared up at the ceiling.  "My passion is knowledge; whether it was the long years spent trying to discover the truth about the Protheans or the last few years as an information broker, everything I do depends on knowledge, on knowing things others don't."

She finally looked back at him.  "And right now, there's only one thing in all the galaxy I want to know…why?  Why do the Reapers do it?  Even murderers, even the insane, have justifications for what they do – there must be a reason!"

Kaidan smiled sadly at her.  "You know about Shepard's conversations with them – they don't think like us; I'm not sure we could understand the reason even if they gave it."

She nodded slowly.  "Of course, you're probably right.  And I can't waste time obsessing over it or wallowing in self-pity.  Nearly everyone on this ship has felt the same pain I do now, and they've found a way to focus on the mission; I have to as well."

"It's okay to grieve, Liara."

"No, it's not.  There's no time.  When this is over, I'll either grieve or celebrate…perhaps both."  She straightened up slightly.  "But you didn't actually come here to listen to me wail about Thessia.  You want to know what happened at the Temple.  I…are you sure you shouldn't be asking Shepard though?"

He bit his lower lip.  "Yeah…she's hitting things at the moment.  Violently.  Not wanting to be one of them, I thought I'd give her a little time to cool down…and maybe find out what happened so I can help her."

She gazed at him, a curious expression on her face.  "That really is what you want to do, isn't it?  Help her?"

He looked perplexed.  "Of course it is."

She smiled, nodding slowly.  "Okay then."

***

Shepard hadn't cooled down.  

She was demolishing the punching bag with wild, uncontrolled ferocity.  Her hair had mostly fallen loose from its binding and stuck in damp tendrils to her face and neck; sweat mingled with blood as it trickled down.  She didn't notice him enter.

She unleashed a roundhouse kick as he approached, sending the bag spinning wildly; he quickly ducked out of the way as it swung towards him.  He encircled her from behind and gently grasped her arms as they punched out at the still swinging bag.  "Hey, hey…"  She jerked in surprise and fought him for a few seconds before acquiescing as he turned her around to face him.  Her eyes were on fire, blazing purple with hints of blue swirling from her biotics just beneath the surface; her whole body was vibrating.  

He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly.  "Oh baby, your hand's bleeding again…and your forehead.  Don't do this to yourself."

She exhaled sharply, turning away and pacing in agitation.  "We have to catch him – this cannot be over, I refuse to let it be over, not when we're so fucking close – goddammit, if we lose because motherfucking Kai Leng was faster than me, I'll – "  She shook her head roughly.  "No.  I refuse to accept that – we will catch him and when we do I will rip his throat out on the way to and on the way from ripping the Illusive Man's throat out – "  

Suddenly her eyes, which had been darting all around, focused on his.  She breathed out slowly, and it was if all the pent-up energy escaped with the breath.  "I had it; it was right there.  I still don't understand how he got away…"

He smiled tenderly, reaching out and tucking strands of hair behind her ear.  "Well I could be wrong, but I've been led to believe that it had something to do with him bringing the Temple down on top of you."

She pulled back slightly, swallowing hard, her voice hesitant.  "About that…Kaidan, I…when we were in the Temple…I fell.  The gunship was firing, the ground collapsed, and suddenly there was nothing beneath me…it was like falling through space, only there were no stars to welcome me…"  She squeezed her eyes shut.  "I wish I could tell you it was no big deal, that I had it all under control, but…I can't.  I held on the first time, I climbed, but then…Garrus saved me, it's as simple as that.  I would have been dead.  Again."

He pulled her tightly against him.  He didn't tell her that he already knew, not wanting to cheapen the act of her sharing the unvarnished truth with him even though it was obviously difficult.  "But you're alive, and that's what matters."  He kissed the top of her head.  "Thank you so much for telling me.  Come on, let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

"I…"  She looked back at the bag, at the equipment scattered haphazardly on the floor, then slowly let out a breath.  "Okay."

Upstairs, the scalding water coursed over her, washing away the blood and the concrete dust and the sweat.  

He lifted her chin and gently turned her face to his, reaching up with his other hand and softly wiping away the last of the blood from the cut on her forehead.  As the water poured over them and steam began to fill the shower, she gazed up at him with eyes so troubled, a stab of pain cut deep across his heart.  Her eyes should never look like that…they should be dancing with joy, with mischief, with life.  Always.

"What if we lose?"  Her voice was a whisper.

His hand slid down to cup her cheek.  "We won't.  You won't."

Her eyes traveled along the features of his face, searching.  "Why are you so sure?"

"Because you don't know how to lose."

She huffed a breath and turned her face upward, letting the water pour over it.  "I seem to recall one time where I lost in spectacular fashion…"

His hand drifted down, along her neck, across her shoulder, gently over her breast, evoking a sharp intake of breath, down her abdomen.  "You're standing here now; it looks to me like you won even that fight."  His fingertips caressed the lettering along her hip.  "You may have been dead, but now you are alive – "

Then she was pressed against him, arms encircling him, fingers scraping through his hair, as her lips crashed into his.  And for just a little while, nothing else mattered.

***

Kai Leng frowned as his comm buzzed as soon as he passed through the Relay into the Iera System.  The Illusive Man was getting annoyingly over-protective.  He took a deep breath and made sure is voice was polite and respectful.  "Yes, sir?"

"You disappoint me, Leng."

He flinched.  "I'm sorry, sir.  What happened?"

"It would appear that Shepard is still alive."

"I don't see how that's possible."

"Well I assure you it is.  I've warned you time and again not to underestimate her.  Now the Normandy has left Thessia and is on the move – and if I know Shepard, which I do, she is not very happy right now.  When Shepard is angry, she is even more dangerous than usual.  Be on your guard; take extra precautions.  And for god's sake, Leng – hurry."

"Yes, sir."  The link went dead, and he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes.  For one, he was going to need to find a new ship…